Oregon Trail: Ames Edition

04.29.26

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I sent my therapist proof of life. She told me she was glad I got here safely and encouraged me to be good to myself. Something she knows I struggle with.

I’m coming at you live from the laundromat again. At this point I just kinda like it here. It’s not even about wanting to be the only one touching my underoos anymore. It’s just peaceful in here — or at least, I don’t know. Maybe not peaceful but it’s something. Some kind of zen. Where I can listen to the hum of the machines, people watch a little, and do things like blog.

It’s been a little over a month now since I landed in the Pacific Northwest and I gotta say … so far so good. I’ve only cried like two times. Okay three. But that third time was because I watched Ted Lasso and I’d never watched Ted Lasso before and I wasn’t ready to have feelings.

All of that being said, I know I need to start getting out more. I know that I need to force myself to do social things despite my natural inclination to just hermit.

This will take time, and that’s okay. The fact that I’m still regularly feeding myself, brushing my teeth, and showering means more than most might realize. Those are essentially my barometer for when my mental health is tanking — the first things to go that signal HEY, SOMETHING IS WRONG. So despite all the changes and despite spending my weekends being a little ol’ hermit, I’m at least hitting those basic marks and I need to be proud of that.

And, not to #humblebrag, but in feeding myself I’ve even been cooking a bit. I made way too much salmon the other night but it was decent and very bright with all the lemon.

And then I made more salmon the following week. Salmon is kind of becoming the thing for me?

Tonight’s dinner was tilapia, however, and it was 100% a no-go. I mean edible? Sure. But those leftovers are for sure going to be made into something with a lot of … something. I don’t know. Maybe fish cakes or something where I can’t recognize that it was actually tilapia.

Annnnnnnnnyway …

Something brave that I did do this past weekend was find a barber and get my hair cut. That might seem normal to most people but for me it seems to be huge. It took me a few days to work up the courage to just do it, but honestly? No regrets. I’m pretty stoked about my new barbershop (one I can walk to!) and it’s near some pretty sweet locales like a movie theatre and a bakery. Plus the barber seems cool and really into his craft.

Pretty tight, yeah?

Can’t say the same for the continued drama of trying to register and title my car in Oregon, but hey, can’t win them all.

So in summary – I’m alive. I’m eating mostly normally. I don’t smell because I’m showering pretty regularly. And I’m giving myself the space but also the encouragement to go be a human around other humans in relatively human situations.

Keepin’ it loose in the caboose,

Ames